PLACEMENT, by Arthur Roberts


Whatcha gonna do now the war is won?

Now we've set the rising sun?

How you gonna feed your wife and kids?

How you gonna keep them off the skids?


   Let's approach this problem from the geographical direction,

   Supposing you had a free selection,

   And you could get a job that would permit you to live in the manner

to which you would like to become accustomed, at any rate,

   Where would you migrate?


The time is for decision; --

Well, this is my position:


   I don't like the East

   The East I like the least,

I don't like the coast Atlantic,

   You do not see my mouth

   Drooling for the South,

Swanee doesn't sound romantic.

New England's charms are overpraised,

   Look what it did to my sinuses.

The Northwest doesn't leave me dazed;

Its merits all are minuses.

   Go on and say your say

   On California,

Shout her praises loud and louder.

   But if you suggest

   The lovely Middle West,

Kindly go and take a . . . Chicago Tribune.

Ain't no place I wanna go.


   Are you going to assist in the further development of the wonderful

art of radar, and astonish the world with your dexterity,

   Or would you like to retire to a sinecure and concentrate on providing a posterity?

   Will you return to physics and enter the new and fascinating wonderland

to be known as the science of nucleonics,

   Or would you rather drink celery tonics?


The time is for decision;

Well, this is my position:

   I don't wanna play

   For pay from RCA,

I don't wanna work for Bell Labs,

   I ain't been contemplatin'

   Locatin' out in Dayton.

Ditto ditto Naval Ord. Labs.

I don't wanna work for Westinghouse

   They ain't got no sex appeal.

I don't like the universities,

    They ain't got no checks appeal.

I don't get apoplectic

For Generous Electric,

I don't care for NRL.

   I don't wanna work for anyone,

Everyone can go to . . . the Watson Labs.

Ain't no place I wanna go exceptin' fishin',

Fishin's what I wanna do

--and not uranium,

Fishin's what I wanna do!