1. Upon the lawns of Washington the physicists
From all the land are men at hand, their wisdom to
A great man stands to speak, and with applause the rafters
"My friends," says he, "you all can see that physics now
Now in my lab we had our plans, but these we'll now
Research right now is useless, we have come to
We now propose constructing at an ancient Army base,
The best electronuclear machine in any place, -- Oh
2. It will cost a billion dollars, ten billion volts
It will take five thousand scholars seven years to make it
All the generals approve it, all the money's now in hand,
And to help advance our program, teaching students now we've
We have chartered transportation, we'll provide a weekly
Our motto's integration, there is nothing left to chance.
This machine is just a model for a bigger one, of course,
That's the future road for physics, as I hope you'll all
3. And as the halls with cheers resound and praises fill
One single man remains aloof and silent in his chair.
And when the room is quiet and the crowd has ceased to
He rises up and thunders forth an answer loud and clear.
"It seems that I'm a failure, just a piddling
Within six months a mere ten thousand bucks is all I've
With love and string and sealing wax was physics kept
Let not the wealth of Midas hide the goal for which we
4. "Take away your billion dollars, take away your
You can keep your damn ten billion volts, my soul will not
Take away your army generals; their kiss is death, I'm sure.
Everything I build is mine, and every volt I make is pure.
Take away your integration; let us learn and let us teach,
Oh, beware this epidemic Berkelitis, I beseech.
Oh, dammit! Engineering isn't physics, is that plain?
Take, oh take, your billion dollars, let's be physicists